Faith in the midst of Failure

I had a dream last night that I was sitting around a table with my mom, hubby, and a former Pastor. He was sharing with us about how his current endeavor was failing terribly and all I could say is ...:"I know, we have been there,..."  I woke up before I could say any more and as I went about my morning routine, the Holy Spirit spoke something to my heart that stopped me in my tracks!  He said, "I lose more of my people in failure than success."

Whoa, news flash!

Immediately my thoughts turned to two examples in the Word...Peter and Judas.  The only difference between them was that when they both failed Jesus, one ran TO Him and the other ran FROM Him.

In Luke 24:12 The Voice, we read:

Peter, however, got up and ran to the tomb. When he reached the opening, he bent down, looked inside, and saw the linen burial cloths lying there. But the body was gone. He walked away, full of wonder about what had happened.

Peter was full of wonder and we know that he went on to be a man of such great faith that he died the death of a martyr.  However, Judas' story had a much different ending, in Matthew 27:3,5 The Voice:

Judas—the one who had betrayed Him with a kiss for 30 pieces of silver—saw that Jesus had been condemned, and suddenly Judas regretted what he had done. He took the silver back to the chief priests and elders and tried to return it to them....Judas threw down the money in the temple, went off, and hanged himself.

Believe me when I tell you, I know what it means to fail.  I recently had a Birthday and it caused me to look back over my life.

What I found was that there were many times that I knew I should have done things differently, but I did it wrong anyway. In those times I threw myself on the mercy of God and repented and happily went on knowing I was forgiven and it was forgotten.

However, there have been times when I did everything RIGHT and yet, I appeared to have failed in every way. 

Now, let's be real, those times are the hardest! It was also when my faith seemed to falter the most.

I racked my brain and tried to determine how did it go so wrong???  I tried to determine what I would have done differently and came up empty because there were no answers.  I felt so defeated that I didn't want to pray anymore and every time I picked up the Word, I could feel the weight of my failure.  You may be asking, "What do you do during those times?"

I have learned that you continue to do what you know to do, even when it hurts.  You get right back in the seat and you try again.

My littlest nephew also just had a Birthday and he received a bicycle...a real one with pedals!  He was s-o-o-o excited to jump up on it and GO!  We even have a picture of him on it, beaming ear-to-ear!

However, he is a little guy and he doesn't have any experience with pedal pushing.  Later on, when he couldn't make it go, he jumped off and ran over to me.  With tears in his big blue eyes he said, "Tata, I will never ride this bicycle again, just take it out to the dumpster!" 

A bit dramatic, I know!  I explained to him that he is growing and reminded him that he's never used this kind of bike before.  Also, it's not the right time to learn since there is 2 ft of snow on the ground right now.  I told him we will put the bike away and pull it out when it gets warmer and then we will teach him what he needs to know to be successful. 

AHA!  A light just went off in my spirit...failure teaches us.  It's a painful and necessary part of life and the biggest lesson it teaches us is that we need to keep getting on the bike instead of running away from it. 

I remember my first time of learning to ride a bike without training wheels...I wrecked BIG TIME!  I didn't have firm control of the handle bars and they skewed left, right into my chest!  It knocked the wind right out of my lungs and I ended up in the ditch. 

It hurt terribly and I cried very hard, but you know what?  After I dried my tears, I got up, dusted myself off and got back on the bike.  Now mind you, it was a big blue bike in a much older style and it was not really cool at all!

However, I learned how to master 'ole Big blue that summer and for Christmas that year I got my DREAM BIKE...The Cactus Flower. 
It was a white bike with yellow and orange flowers with a bright yellow "banana" seat and high handle bars!
You know what....it was s-o-o-o worth the pain!  The freedom I felt when I jumped on it for the first time and took off around the block with the wind in my hair and the biggest smile on my face was priceless!  The pain of the past failures firmly where they belong....in the past! 
Did I ever wreck the Cactus Flower?  You bet, but I would just get back on and go at it again .  This is what we all need to do in the face of failure:
Dry our tears.
Dust ourselves off.
Get back in the seat.

and GO!